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I’ve got good news and bad news…
The bad news...
I have not talked about this online very much. Just my small circle of best friends and family know the gritty details. My daughter-in-law has encouraged me to be real and authentic. A year ago, I went through a divorce after 50 years of marriage and then, a few months later, I lost my sister and best friend to lung cancer. On top of all that, a few weeks ago my ex-husband died in his sleep and ended a mostly good chapter in my life. The last few years were turbulent and crazy but my work and my love for the whole staging industry was a bright light for me, as it is for many of you. Work can be very therapeutic and life-saving. My family, my church, the friends that I have made in this industry and and my support group… you have truly saved me. I could be bitter and incredibly broken, but I am not. And this is the good news.…
My husband of many years did truly have a reconciliation in a lot of ways with my family and me in the weeks before he died. And honestly, he just went to sleep on earth and woke up in heaven. Don’t we all want to leave this planet that way!
The good news also is…
I have learned that an addiction does not mean that person does not love you. And I’ve learned that you can choose to be a survivor and be triumphant or you can let circumstances overwhelm you and take you down. It is a choice! Sometimes, it's a lot of little choices each day that can keep our heads above water. We make a daily choice to be strong, to lean on friends and support groups, and say no to trauma.
Life is hard but also incredibly beautiful. I have always been the 'glass half full' kind of person. It is a family trait. Starting with my parents and now, all of my siblings and me… we all choose life and happiness and we choose to see the good in all of the people around us no matter how broken they are.
Yes, sometimes that means we’re a little bit in denial. I have also learned the hard way that sometimes detachment is our only recourse. I’m just too busy to have a breakdown. I have to survive. I have my family, my graduates, clients and good friends. They depend on me and I love and depend on them also.
My ex-husband was a giant of a man. He was a great father, provider and husband for 95% of those 50 years. He managed over 400 people who loved him before he retired. He was generous and funny and lovable but in later years he was battling an addiction that was under the surface.
I have learned a lot about addiction and codependency in the last few years. We have wonderful resources at our disposal. Some people never make it out of the disappointment and devastation of an addiction in the family. It is a choice. I choose life and happiness.
I truly love you all. Thank you for being there!!
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